Stuff Happens
by NeptunesBlue
Summary: COMPLETE. Pointless humiliation and gradual acceptance on Fuu's part. Abject horror on Mugen and Jin's. Not sure how the male readers are going to react to this…


**Shit Happens**

**Summary:** Pointless humiliation and gradual acceptance on Fuu's part. Abject horror on Mugen and Jin's. Not sure how the male readers are going to react to this…

**A/N:** I'm not expecting a lot of feedback with this one. This just happened to be a fic I wrote one day to relieve some of the stress I was feeling when a certain aunt came to visit. An aunt every girl sees at least once a month. The dreaded Aunt Flo. For anyone who has not yet met Aunt Flo, congratulations; but I suggest looking her up in urbandictionary(dot)com before reading this so you aren't completely blindsided going in. Feel free to back out now, I won't be offended. I know how squeamish some people can be and it's really nothing to be ashamed of; but regardless, your taste is your taste and if you find this subject tasteless, that's fine with me. It probably is, anyway. So for those of you feeling bold enough to brave these next few paragraphs, I salute you. Here we go!

* * *

She was stirred by whispers. They sounded frantic, panicked. Unsure. One thing was certain, Fuu was nowhere near sleep if the sideline conversation kept up like this. So, grudgingly, she turned with a sigh and opened her eyes. Mugen stiffened and Jin averted his gaze almost immediately.

_What's __**their**__ deal?_

"Hey, guys." She greeted, sitting up. "Time to leave already?"

Each stood in their own respective shows of discomfort.

She furrowed her brow, accustomed to Jin's lack of words already. But Mugen? Since when had a morning passed without him literally dragging her out of her futon? Granted, he was typically less loud and obnoxious when they were lucky enough to score a room at an inn. But this wasn't a gracious silence, the quiet used in order to keep the other inn residents from waking. No, this wasn't that type of silence. This was an awkward silence. A _very_ awkward silence, if _Mugen's_ lips were suddenly sealed shut.

"Guys?" she questioned, ignoring the acute ache in her lower stomach. She must have been hungrier than usual if she was having such odd pains. "What's with the cold shoulder?" she tried to add humor to her voice to diffuse whatever it was that was making them act this way. At their continued silence, she rolled her eyes and began to pull the blankets back in order to stand. Well, if they thought she was going to just play along, they had another thing coming. She was going to beat the answer out of them if she had to.

"Do not get up." One of them finally spoke. It was Jin. He held a hand in front of him in an unconscious show of disapproval. His tone was the same as always, but his eyes betrayed him. He was uncomfortable, that was for damn sure. He was straining to even keep eye contact. An honorable man does not converse a woman without proper eye contact, after all.

Fuu hesitated for a moment, giving the ronin a confused look. He didn't take back his words, though. So the little waitress had no choice but to listen. She untangled her fingers from the blanket and settled back onto her butt. She caught Mugen's flinch and glared at him, but the pirate chose to stare at a painting on the wall instead. She sighed, growing tired of this little game.

"Alright." She finally snapped. "Will someone _please_ tell me just what the _hell_ is going on?"

Neither men so much as inhaled.

"Jin?" she gave him a pleading look. "Did I do something bad?"

Again, Mugen flinched, this time a tiny smirk on his lips.

"What?" she demanded of him. "What's so funny, jerk?" Baiting him had never failed in getting words out of him in the past.

But he just bit his lip to hide the smirk and cleared his throat uneasily, still unable to meet her gaze.

"You did not do anything…_bad_." Jin said, giving the pirate a severe look. Mugen simply shrugged back him.

She didn't like his tone, or the implication of his words. "But I _did_ do…_something_?"

He nodded. "It was unintentional."

Her heart started to race. She did something to them? Something that she didn't even realize she was doing? What could she possibly have done that could make them barely able to keep her gaze for more than a few seconds? She bit her lip, a dark sensation growing from within her. They had decided to confront her about it. But she wouldn't like the outcome, judging by the way they were so hesitant. Were they leaving her? Did she do something so terrible that it would make them want to break their promise to her…and leave? She couldn't help the tears that prickled their way across her bottom eyelids.

"Are you leaving me because of what I did?" she asked quietly, her voice resigned despite the turmoil raging within. She kept her gaze with her hands, fidgeting fingers on her lap.

At that, Mugen snorted loudly and released a howl of laughter. Jin cut him another silencing look, and he covered his mouth with his hands. His entire body shook with his hilarity, though, which made Fuu snarl at him.

"Why don't _you_ tell me what's going on, then?" she demanded hotly, her tears of gloom becoming tears of anger. "If you're so anxious to make some noise, jackass, why not man up and give it to me straight?"

Mugen's laughter settled and his arms found his sides again. He gave Fuu a heated glare and ignored the glance Jin was shooting him. "Fine, girly." He snapped, noting the way Jin pinched the bridge of his nose in defeat. "You wanna know? I'll tell ya."

Fuu folded her arms across her chest and steeled herself. Mugen wasn't tactful, like Jin was. He was a rip-the-bandage type of guy, which she supposed came in handy when delicacy turned to hesitation.

"No, I'll _show_ ya." He smirked, nodding at her blankets. "Lift 'em up and tell me I'm not a man again."

Fuu narrowed her eyes at him and grasped her blanket uncertainly. What the hell could be underneath them that would make her two bodyguards act like such…_wimps_?

"Go on, girly."

She gave Jin a hesitant look, but the ronin merely sighed and turned to face the door. A second later and he was gone. Both the waitress and pirate gave each other perplexed looks at his sudden exodus. Then, they glared at each other.

"Have you a wife?" they heard Jin's voice from just outside the door.

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

"Have you a wife?" the ronin repeated, just as patient as before.

The inn-keeper was reluctant to answer. "Yes. I have a wife. What of it?" His suspicion was blatant.

"I suggest you fetch her with a wash-bin." He told the man.

"What? What did you do to my room?" he demanded. "I knew I should have cast you away the second I saw that convict in your company!"

Mugen scowled and Fuu tossed him a sympathetic look.

"I assure you it is nothing of the sort." Jin's voice was even and placid as he spoke. "There is a young girl inside who has had a sort of incident."

Fuu blushed and Mugen returned to staring at that painting.

"Incident?" the inn-keeper spoke the words Fuu was dying to ask.

Jin paused momentarily, as though searching for the proper words. "It is an incident neither of us men can relate to, nor handle. It is something that requires the grace and tact of a woman." There was a beat. "The sooner you fetch your wife and send her here, the sooner you will have us out of your inn."

The conversation was over and Fuu watched as the inn-keeper's shadow danced across the rice paper in his haste to call his wife. She eyed Jin's silhouette as he pushed his glasses farther onto his nose. He remained outside, like a guard-dog defending his home.

Fuu had a deep sinking feeling in her stomach. She knew what had happened, she wasn't a complete idiot. Her cheeks grew hot with the scarlet that covered them and she found she couldn't meet the pirate's eyes, either.

"I think we'd both feel better if you just left, Mugen." She told him quietly.

He tore his eyes from the painting but she was staring at her hands again. He just nodded and headed for the door, sliding it open and stepping back as the inn-keeper's wife arrived. The plump woman gave the threshold an odd look, but saw the girl in the futon and breezed through, dismissing the magical sliding door.

"Hello, dear." She greeted, setting the wash-bin on the floor.

Mugen silently slipped out and shut the door without another sound. Fuu watched as he slid down against the rice paper and could just imagine the sigh of relief he was releasing.

"I've been told we've had an…incident of some sort?" she smiled warmly despite herself.

Fuu nodded, her blush intensifying. "I'm sorry for ruining your sheets."

The woman chuckled. "Nonsense. It's nothing a bit of scrubbing won't be able to take car of." She kneeled beside Fuu. "Let's see the damage, dear."

Fuu bit her lip as the woman slowly peeled the blankets back. She nodded her head in understanding. "This is hardly anything, dear!" she exclaimed. "I've raised two daughters and I've never seen such a tiny mess!"

Fuu steeled herself and braved a look. The white blanket seemed fine, until she looked to her thighs. There, the sheet had a fist-sized stain of scarlet. Fuu tore back that second blanket and stared at her kimono. A matching stain marred one of her flowers.

"This is so embarrassing…" she muttered. It was one thing to come across something like this on your own, but to have your _bodyguards_ discover it before you did? She brought her knees to her chin.

"Now, now." The wife cooed. "We'll have none of that. You're a woman now, you should be rejoicing!"

Fuu sighed. That aching returned and she scowled. "My stomach hurts, and so does my back. There's blood everywhere, and to make matters worse, my two _bodyguards_ know what happened. Rejoicing is the _last_ thing I want to do."

The other woman dismissed it all with a wave of her hand. "I take it this is the first time this has happened?" Fuu nodded and the woman chuckled. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, dear. Here, help me wash the blankets and we'll take care of your kimono, too."

Fuu stood and ignored the ache that seemed to intensify as she moved, assisting the older woman despite herself. The water was freezing as she dumped the sheets into the bin.

"And your kimono."

Fuu balked.

"Come now, dear." She began to scrub against the washing board. "The longer you wait, the more the stain will set in."

Fuu was well aware. How many times had she tried to scrub blood out of Mugen and Jin's clothes after a fight? She remembered working her hands raw after such endeavors. With a sigh, she untied her obi and allowed the fabric to slip from her shoulders. It cascaded to the floor in a heap of pink and she kicked it into the basin.

The wife's eyes never strayed from her duty. She kept scrubbing and scrubbing until the water became too diluted to use anymore. At that point, she flung the murky pink liquid out into the garden and disappeared to gather more water from the pump.

Fuu took the moment to lean against the rice paper door and address her bodyguards. "Guys?" she received two respective grunts in return. "Listen…I just wanted to tell you…" she sighed. "This isn't exactly the way I planned on…" another sigh. "I didn't mean for you to…"

"We understand." Jin murmured.

"Yeah, we got it, girly." Mugen spoke, his tone trivial. "Shit happens."

* * *

**A/N:** Meh. Not to be taken seriously…obviously. Review or don't review, this wasn't really written to be posted in the beginning. But I figured, hey why not? And as for the title, it was originally called "Crimson Waves" to give you a hint as to what you were walking into. But then I wrote Mugen's final line of the fic and thought of Spike Spiegel from _Cowboy Bebop_ saying once, "Whatever happens, happens" and thought it was too fitting not to use. I'm big on Spike/Mugen allusions, so look for them in my other Mugen-centric ramblings. I guarantee, if you're reminded of _Cowboy Bebop_ while reading one of my _Samurai Champloo_ fics, it wasn't a coincidence ;)


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